It's not Obsession

In a comment someone said to me somewhere else: I hate cancer cause it infringes on a relationship of trust you're supposed to have with your body, it's revolting against yourself, it's as unnatural as one can get.

It was a really great comment all around, really. She told me about how she'd had her own battle with cancer and how she'd just stopped the BS all around her and she'd been supremely self-indulgent during her chemo by getting 12 hours of sleep for the first time in her life, reading all the time (entire works, Proust, so on and so forth), until she felt like she could kick that shit out. She said, It's all about mind's superiority over the physical.

And while I don't think you can beat it completely by thinking good thoughts or whatever? I know that having a strong will is a good part of it. I know that having people who love you, who TRULY, DEEPLY love and care about you around you? Makes all the difference in the world.

I know that without Lani and Rachael and my sister constantly coming to see me in the hospital - and then Lani staying the week, and Rach stepping outside of her comfort zones while visiting me (driving in the dark and all the ickys while there) and my sister taking 12 days off and her company LETTING her do that - I mean, that's love. It reminds me of when I had to spend the weekend in the hospital when I first had seizures and EJ and Ali called me ALL WEEKEND for hours on end, just so I wouldn't be lonely. True friends.

I got so many flowers in the hospital and Misha, through her church, sent not just me but my son, teddy bears. Bears that now sit there and watch over me.

I couldn't do this without all of you. And I love you and I appreciate you.

Taking the time to talk to me or play with me - and you, especially YOU, Tosh, recently, thank you - means more than I can say. It's kept me sane. I know it seems like little things to you guys, but it means the world to me.

So, thank you.

In her own post, a friend of mine asked:

Is it wrong of me to be put off/annoyed by people who: Double dip in containers – Like eating ice cream from a container and putting the half empty container back in the fridge (same goes for yogurt and the like). Or double dip with chips on dips. And the like. Or putting a serving spoon/fork back into sauce after you've slurped on it.

And I just wanted to hug on her because, really? OHMYGOODNESS.

Do not breathe on my food or look at my food or touch my food or my plate or-

You know how mom's will let kids drink outta their straws? Yeah, I never did that. Or eat off my fork. Or... yeah, no. Never. Ugh.

I have a THING. Okay? It's a minor thing, but ask Lani or Cher or Rach or Meredith... any one of them can order for me and then dictate to the server how things must be placed/arranged/served... hojeez. ♥ Even LODI knows.

My friends.

IN SHORT: No, dear friend, it is not wrong to be put off.

Bobo is resting on the air mattress (where she slept last night) and I'm reading stuff on the nets.

Pryllie called me earlier, and that was a great surprise in and of itself, nevermind the one she's promised...

I added drugs to my 'lunch', yes I did. Later, we'll hit the pharmacy.

I couldn't do this without Lani, and I don't know how I'll ever express my gratitude to her. How do you thank someone who puts their life on hold for you, even for a short period?

My dad came by. He was disturbed, I could tell. Lani was a fantastic interpreter.

... I feel ...

yeah.

Listening to Miley Cyrus' 'The Climb' made me cry and I felt silly, but it's so much more appropriate, even now.

I'm sure I'll discuss these topics in greater depth later, I'm just tired.

OKAY, just for the record, and once more with feeling. The reason I ♥ my new game?

( THIS SHIT )

A girl I know from NaNo has been waiting for two years to buy it and then... she did. LOL I'm not sure how I feel about it, either. I mean, yay! I wrote a book and someone bought it. That's, kinda cool.

On the other hand? It's a NANO BOOK that I ran a spell check through. And wrote in a month. And is about vampire zombies. Or zombie vampires. SOMETHING.

Ten bucks.

... how much I love you all.

Lani - I desperately hope you feel comforted this weekend.

Rach - I hope you get some....thing.

Jilly - I sincerely hope you have some kind of pain relief.

Jewels - I want you to feel the love.

Alliana - Thank you for knowing it all the last few days and not judging.

Lodi - You crazy bitca. ♥

Teresa - I hope you finally get some rest.

[IN HONOR OF TODAY, AND BSG AND THE FINALE AND... *SNIFF* OKAY... WHAT WOULD TODAY BE WITHOUT... THIS?]


(01/27/2007)

SO! Lani and I were up late last night, as we often are... and discussing BSG.

As we often are. :) Hey, it's her fault, she dragged me into this mess! *HEE* So, I'm not even sure who starts the 'Because I Got High' references, it was probably HER, but out they come and WHAMMO!

You've got the various BSG characters waxing poetic on the dangers of New Caprican Loco Weed. Sung to the tune of Afroman's 'Because I Got High'. If you are unfamiliar with it (what?!?!), you can [watch the vid here]. It's not a very PC nor Safe for Work song. But it is funny.



( ELLEN )

( TYROL )

( LEE )

( KARA )

( SAM )

( COTTLE )

( D'ANNA )

( GAIUS )

( LAURA )

( BILL )

So, I know I know Meredith is amazing... and I know that YOU all know that Meredith is amazing...

But [LOOK] what she made for hattie_notqueen. Danielle Panabaker did a shoot for GQ and THAT is what Meredith did with it.

GUH.

MO: I think I'm gonna take a hot shower and relax.
EJ: think of me baby, *wink*
MO: oh yes, oh yes.
EJ: awesome my heterosexual life partner
EJ: you are the bestest EVAR
MO: I am, what can I say. DO ME
EJ: RIGHT NOW
MO: UNF UNF HARDER HARDER
EJ: Oooooooh yes, YES MORE BABY MORE
MO: *HUMPHUMPHUMP* OOOOOH
EJ: *BEST CLIMAX EVAR* OOoooooooh MO!!
MO: *pops collah* Yeahhhhhhhhh, buddy. Like that. THAT.
EJ: Ahahah <3


The More You Know.

Today is MEREDITH'S birthday! :D And normally, I'd put a lot more thought into a graphic for a friend that was having a birthday, but you see, Meredith is a Graphics Goddess.

She's the one that makes ALL my headers, EVERYWHERE. Ever.

SO.

Since anything I attempted to make in photoshop would have just absolutely left me looking like a dumbass, I went for the arty look with my red/white/black scheme.

Clever, huh?

AT ANY RATE, Meredith is my OTP and OURLOVEISSOLOVEY. Don't forget it. ♥

1) Apparently, if I go to prison for (UNNAMED HORRIFIC ACT HERE) then Rach is going to visit me. NICE RACH! Only SHE thinks it's going to be the same day that I decide to break out. She also doesn't think that I'm going to BE the bitch, she thinks I'm going to be MAKING the bitches. That I'm going to tell Bertha to dig over there--------> and to cover the hole with the t-shirt I gave her and that Jonesie and I are going to dig over <----------- here while she does it. The prison map, for the record, is traced on my BACK and that I asserted my Alpha-ness when Left-Eye took the roll of my lunch tray, took a bite and then tried to put it back.

I shanked that ho.


2) Okay, so... I'm not saying that Jack IS gay and I'm not saying he ISN'T gay. Not that I care because we're equal opportunity offensive up in here. BUT, if I WERE going to prove or disprove that statement? I'd post a photo of him, this morning, dancing along with 'A Chorus Line'.



Like that.


3) FOUR INCHES OF SNOW PREDICTED, which means we'll get one. *sighs* ♥

D) The reason that I shanked Left-Eye in prison is because at Cheryl's Christmas Party the other night, no joke, her BOSS took my DINNER ROLL OFF MY PLATE, took a bite and then TRIED TO PUT IT BACK.

I nearly passed out. Cher was like, "Um, no. Don't do that."

Rach was like, "You shanked him, huh?

Lodi said, "And then you stabbed him with your fork, right?"

Yeaaaaaaaaah. Keep the roll, John, you nasty bitch. I don't want it. EW. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. ew. JUST NO. Bad enough I had to sit next to that many people. OHMYGOD. Ew.

It's That Day again. Well, unless you're Lodi. Then it's ROCK ON time and Have a Dorito. I love Lodi.

( Click this For More Than You Wanted to Know )

I miss my mom.

Ah, Halloween.

First off, sorry to those that were expecting RP & Thangs. It has been a VERY long day.

First off, I did the whole ‘headband & eyelashes’ thing and got Jack all dressed up in his spider costume and took him to see Cher at work. It was good times, though the eyelashes were SUPER LONG OMGooduhness and drove me BONKERS, I’m just saying. Kyle dressed as a mechanic and was super badass looking.

Trick or Treating was an adventure and we got a late start because Cher wanted to drop a movie off at her old boss’ place and we got to talking and an hour and a half later... well, it was 8:15 annnnnnd yeah. It was late. So, we did it until 9 and that’s TOO late. We went home.

Once home, Kyle changed, Jack got changed, there was a little Guitar Hero going on and then I was off to my NaNo Kickoff thing.

... oh yes.

NaNo. WHAT A NIGHT.

I wore my eyelashes and headband to the Denny’s meetup since costumes were suggested. At first I was the only one, but then... I wasn’t. :D We talked, ate, colored our ducks and stuffs and laughed a bit. Then we all headed to Reid’s condo and typed and now it’s 2:15 am and I SHOULD head home, but yeah. I’m doing THIS instead. Eeesh.

I have my 1700 words for today, but I’m going to be writing LATER, too. We’ll see how this goes. I already fucked up the tense I was supposed to write in, so... eh. Sorry Lodi.

( MORE PHOTOS! )

I think it's wrong how much I adore the way that Anne Boleyn and Mason (from 'Dead Like Me') act toward one another. I mean, really.

They meet. Scream at each other. Get possessive about each other. Are SWEET to each other. And then go shopping.

And sex in the changing room.




... loooooooooove it. ♥

It has been decided that imyourally will decipher the secret documents and I will diffuse the bombs. Always cut the third wire, especially if they are all the same color.

( ============== )

But now I KNOW he is!

So. vanya_elda posts an AMAAAAAAAAAZING picspam (268!) of some gorgeous male model sans pants. Undies galore. I comment with 'Hello pretty!' and THIS comes up:

Tweak says, "Oh My God... OMG"

So, I had to comment AGAIN to share the funny. And then THIS comes up:

Tweak says, "Unf Unf"

This shit cannot be a coinkydink. It just CAN'T be.

PS: GORGEOUS MAN WITH NO PANTS ON HELLO. UNF UNF INDEED. *drools*

PPS: Speaking of gorgeous male models, icon related... kinda ;)

While I was still playing on LJ, some things happened in RP that I thought were kinda foul. Things that left me wondering who my friends were, if I had to watch my back, yadda, whatever.

Once I'd been forcibly moved IJ, I'd decided two things and two things for sure:

1) I wasn't going to get involved in wank
2) I wasn't going to 'beg' for it anymore

I'd play with people who clearly wanted to play with me and avoid those that didn't. There are forty gazillion games on IJ and if one didn't want me, well, the other 39,999,999,999,999--- still presented an opportunity. I didn't have to put up with people who talked shit about me, my friends, whatever. There are rules on my user info for a reason.

Way back when, I had a fight with someone. She let someone say something nasty about me and she didn't defend me when I wasn't there to defend myself. This, to me, was just as bad as saying those things herself. Because if you don't agree with what someone is saying about your friends, you need to stand up for them. She and I had this MASSIVE falling out and a week later, talked it out and moved on. Three and a half years later, she and I are amazing friends.

Two days ago, another friend said something to me: You're one of the few people I can argue with who sticks around after. That's rare online, I've found.

She's right. I've fought with a great many people. I've also remained friends with a good many of them after. Because the internet, while srsbidness, doesn't trump feelings.

The other day, someone thought that, in retaliation to in game wank, they could bring in all my personal LJ wank and attack my characters and all kinds of stuff. And while I adore her as a person, and I do, this isn't someone I want to play with. It's not someone that I care to follow any more. Especially when I respected her friends and the things they said as well. I even respected the fact that they didn't agree with the temporary plotfix in game, even if I didn't like the fact that they came back and were nasty.

My contact information is not hidden. I'm findable, constantly. And yet, the things I've found that have been said about me and MY friends recently aren't just hurtful, they're downright nasty for the sake of being nasty. Which, granted, is something I've been in the past. Not since I've been on IJ. Not since I said, "I'm not going to be THAT WAY anymore." And not one person came to me and said, "This is how I'm feeling" or "This is what I think of you/your character/your mom/your dog". Nothing. Just back-handed, behind the scenes nastiness.

And hey, if that's the way ya'll wanna roll? Gravy. I've done the, "I'm a badass bitch and I'ma gonna fuck you up" bit. In fact? I owned that in TM/RotM and a host of other comms on LJ. But this grownup is tired and ready to move on.

I'm not attaching the wank-caboose to this engine. If ya can't fix it? Ya'll gots to go.

Just got home from the midnight showing of The Dark Knight for my birthday present (HELLO!MIDNIGHT) from Rachael. <3

No, no spoilers. Not at the moment. Analysis tomorrow. Or today, later. :)

I do, however, need a red motorcycle. PRONTO, hello.

LOOKIT! :D LOOKIT RIGHT [HERE]!!1eleventy!

Everyone who knows me knows that I have a dirty old man fetish. John Munch, most notable, okay. But YES, Saul Tigh, too! He is my babydaddy, bet you didn't know. Sorry, Kyle.

ANYWAY, that scene at the end of 'Revelations' was SO TOUCHING. Six with her hand on her stomach and then going up to him and touching his back while they were all so stunned... it just broke my heart.

SO! Meredith maded me a pretty. It was even her idea. :D I have the giddy.

WHEN is 2009 again?