It's not Obsession

July 16, 2009

♥

Bobo is resting on the air mattress (where she slept last night) and I'm reading stuff on the nets.

Pryllie called me earlier, and that was a great surprise in and of itself, nevermind the one she's promised...

I added drugs to my 'lunch', yes I did. Later, we'll hit the pharmacy.

I couldn't do this without Lani, and I don't know how I'll ever express my gratitude to her. How do you thank someone who puts their life on hold for you, even for a short period?

My dad came by. He was disturbed, I could tell. Lani was a fantastic interpreter.

... I feel ...

yeah.

Listening to Miley Cyrus' 'The Climb' made me cry and I felt silly, but it's so much more appropriate, even now.

I'm sure I'll discuss these topics in greater depth later, I'm just tired.

So, tomorrow/today is my surgery.

Not gonna lie. Kinda nervous. And don't say, "Nothing to be nervous about, you'll be fine" because I KNOW that. I know I'm going to be fine and I'm even at the point where it's like, "I probably don't even have cancer, it's probably just a funky ulcer that just won't go away and it doesn't HAVE to be indicative of anything else" but still.

Part of it is because my mom isn't here. This is the first thing that's been seriously wrong with any of us since mom died and... well, she's just not here and it's scary. I don't know. Just, mom's make everything better. *shrugs* Call me a fatass weenie if you have to, but that's the way it is.

Per my doctor's request, I had a will made up. THAT was a reality check and probably the reason I'm all kinds of weird about it now. "Blah blah, use my stuff to pay off my debts, blah blah, everything goes to Kyle and my executor in trust and Cher's executor and the boss of Kyle and if she can't then Lani is, The End."

Just your basic stuff. All notarized and made official. Just... scary. It's all real and I'm all grown up and a single mom and ALONE.

I'm alone.

Lodi's mom was talking about alien abduction... and so I said something about it and Lodi said I needed to update my Facebook status.

So I did. Without thinking. And then... well... yeah.

So, today was That Day. You know the one. Well, some of you. I guess some of you didn't. For those just joining this lil rollercoaster, I had a daughter and on Mother's Day in 1998, she was murdered. And back in 1998, that day was May 10. If you want the details, that whole horror story can be found [here].

Normally, I'm pretty chill, but this year was just hard. I dunno, lots of factors, I guess. But whatever the deal, we went to the cemetery. Me, Cher & Kyle. David had Jack.

Now, and this is where those of you that DON'T know me might get a bit horrified (and I'm sorry) but, we had a great time. Cher was cracking jokes (and no, she didn't shriek as we stabbed the ground again) but we just blew grass whistles and she accidentally-on-purpose made a very sharp whistle with her fingers and it ECHOED...

The cemetery was kinda crowded.

The jokes weren't entirely off color, but some were, and it was just kinda light-hearted as we sat there on the ground and talked. And then, of course, I got mean in my head about HIM and cried a little and then we were all good.

Got home and then DAVID STAYED FOR LIKE... HOURS. ( Okay, this turned into a rant, my bad )

And then I took a glorious shower. :) So, it could have been worse. I was just tired.

First of all, EJ? You have issues. SRSLY. That freckle? Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah. :P

Secondly? ABOUT last night? Talk, talk, talk. More on that in a heavily friended or even private entry because, well. YEAH.

Thirdly? If the [Impossible Quiz] was addicting back when, and it was, then [Pandemic II] is even more so. OMFG. JUST sAYING.

Fourth? Lanibobo goes back to Washington DC today for which I am both glad and sad. Glad because that means that no more sadness keeps her here and sad because, well... no more Guitar Hero. Still, it was nice to see her for a quick visit. Plus, hey! New snowglobe :D

Fifth? I have no fifth. Back to the old grind, right? Right. Later? I'm making fudge brownies.

Will be responding to tags today, promise

Need to catch up the LC peeps

Need to do the SPN stuffs

Maybe something with TNG?

Since I just KNOW ya'll are dying to see what I looked like back in the 7th grade, this is your chance. Someone I don't know scanned my 7th grade yearbook and put it on Facebook. I snagged this page, put a box around my head and am reposting it here, just for me you.

1989-1990, baby.

( You got the right stuff... )

We ended up with almost a foot total over the last four days and, no lie, had I looked out and seen more falling today, I probably would have gone, O.o.

Even I, the Snow Goddess of All, have my limits. Truly. ♥


ALSO!

( Jack had a birthday. )

Mo: Jack has been screaming all day. Like, LITERALLY screaming. For no reason. So, just now? I put in the ending of 'A Chorus Line' because? He loves it. He's standing there just waaaaaatching it. over. and over. and over. and over. and... you get the picture.
Lani: That boy is so gay!
Mo: LMAO I'll DIE if he is. *HEE*
Lani: I'm teaching him how to say "FAAAAAAAAAABULOOOOOOUUUUS!" when I get back
Lani: Tell Cheryl I'd like a quick, honorable death ;-)
Mo: *GIGGLEFITS*
Mo: "Well, Cheryl, the good news is... I got Jack to stop screaming."

"What's the bad news?"

"... he's gay."
Lani: at least he won't protest getting his temperature taken?
Mo: Ilaughedsohardomg
Lani: I really should not be making these kinds of jokes
Lani: I mean, what decent person DOES that?
Mo: Decent?
Lani: ... good point.
Mo: I love us.
Lani: I love us too

Happy Thanksgiven!

So, I should be writing my NaNo. I could be RPing. Neither seems like fun. I am not a creative person, I've realized. Instead, I do the same shit over and over and over and think I'm clever and I'm really just not.

I don't feel good. I got sick in the shower tonight. I am trying to nurse a migraine. I have this wicked icky thing that has been GROWING on my tongue in my MOUTH for- you know? That just sounds way more grody than it is. I bit it, then I burned it, then the baby gave me thrush. That's all. *sighs*

Plus, Cher did something horrible to me: she made me watch FRIENDS, and unlike the three seasons of Supernatural? There are ten of Friends. I hate this show and yet... I can't not watch. And I went for so long, too.

I'm headachy, I can't get a job in FUCKING NOWHEREVILLE and I can't pay my storage.

I want to complain SO much and this post just isn't cutting it.

I'm apparently throwing a Pity Party and ya'll are invited.

Plus: I'ma hafta kill the dog, the boy and the neighbor. Who wants to come to THAT?

... but LOOK!



He's being such a HAPPY BABY this morning.

Mmmkay, kiddos.

After today, the internet situation at Cher's goes a bit wonky. I'm gonna kinda sorta be taking a half-hearted mini-hiatus from things RP related until probably after NaNo, as that's a big thing for me and I wanna do it again this year.

And I've conned coaxed yet another person into doing it, too. :)

So, if we have a thread GOING, my tags will be slow. I won't be starting any new threads unless it's something we've chatted about first. <3

I'm not sure how well the hacking of internets goes in the woods, so we'll see.

*MWAH*

So, this morning, some of you got... Special Greetings from my sister, Cheryl. She told Lani that I took it up the butt, told Pryllie that I hooked up with some cowboy from a karaoke bar and told JEWELS that I slept with David while she was at work.

*sighs*

Now that I've had more imaginary sex than I know what to do with, there's only one thing to do...


I TOTALLY BEAT MISS MURDER ON GUITAR HERO!!! 100%, bitches. :D I was the first person to do it.

So, we're here. Trunk is still full. Mostly because... well, no room. And Rach's couch? SO much more comfy than Cher's. Jack's behaving and in good spirits. He's a happy baby which really? Yeah. :) Kyle was a happy baby, too. I love those kinds. About this couch though? The back? Super tall. The part your ass goes on? Um, it's so slender, I can't even sit cross legged on it. Sleeping on it? Barely can do it sideways, nevermind on my stomach. Last night, I woke up five separate times so by the time David got up at like, six? I was awake.

Kyle's in school. And by school, I mean like... this little set of cabins in the woods. It's just the most quaint thang EVAH. And by THAT I mean... it's in the woods. And everything is green: the trim is green and the colors are green and it's just... so in the woods. And all the outside signs are wood. It just... yeah. Cedar River Middle School. And then he'll go to Junior High (8-9) and then High School. So odd.

This place isn't that far from the mountains anyway. It's all woodsy and the cops all drive SUV's and shit.

SO, here we are.

... I think I'ma work at a gas station. Or the grocery store. *shrugs*



It's colder out here.


And? the internetz is sporadical.

Went to El Toro's for chips, salsa and karoke and WOW, okay. So, not that I ever sound SUPER amazing, but that microphone made me sound pretty damn awesome. I sang 'Let it Be', 'Desperado' and 'Hotel California', mostly because um, those are the songs that I CAN sing well. And after I finish 'Let it Be', the DJ says, "Beautiful, no one has ever sung that before". :D Rach finished with this rendition of Sin Wagon that made people cheer and I was like "EEEEE!". SO MUCH FUN!

Of course, the requisite dancing of the Electric Slide and then we learned the Cupid Shuffle which was fantastic enough but then Rachael goes to get dressed this morning and turns on the bathroom radio as usual and what's playing on the station? CUPID SHUFFLE. We danced. Her in the hall, me in the front room.

All in all, a pretty good night, except where I STILL have those two apps to finish for Sparta and it was one of those 'ooh, suddenly SOTIREDOMG' when we got back last night. <3

Oh. And my bitch-ass sister was all, "About my work party-" and stuff yesterday and I said, "Do you WANT someone to go in my place?" And she says, "NO! No, Mary, no..." And THEN last night, "How about we go see a movie next weekend?" And I'm saying, "SURE, what should we see?" and THINKING, "Uh HUH!" because she follows that up with, "So how mad WOULD you be if I canceled on you?"

David brotherpersonthing just came back from Marine bootcamp and proposed to his girlfriend and so she hasn't seen him in a few months. EH, whatev. That's like an hour and some odd drive for some food and a fixed watermelon eating contest. <3 I'm not THAT ticked. Plus, I know she reads this. Bitch.

( TO DO )

I love love LOVE taking showers at my sister's place. Why? Because she has all the fun, UBER girly stuff in her shower. If it's new on the market (and a gadget for the shower), she has it. Plus, all the best lotions, shampoos, conditioners, body washes, whatever. Also? When she messages me and says, "GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW?" It's the perfect excuse. Especially if I still don't get there until I was originally planning.

Add to that, there was no way I was driving over there on leather seats, top down on Lucy or not AFTER taking a shower. It's 91 degrees and I was GRODY. Psh. I just packed a bag and took one once I got here. THEN we went to the grocery store. YUM.

She's having a Grease party. You know, Grease is the word, and all. :D Lani's coming and Nicole is already here and Jenni's coming and Rach is not. :( Woe.

Rach & Cher SHOULD be even after this, though: Cher didn't go to Rach's birthday party and now Rach didn't go to Cher's summer blowout. Deal? Deal.

*dances off to play more Guitar Hero - which makes me think of RP and the SPN fandom*

Today, my boy is 12! Because the entire extended fam has to work, it's more a 'celebrate' tomorrow, but he and I are going to hang at the pool today and maybe... I don't know.

Tomorrow, Cher wants to see a movie, so yay! :D Yeah, I think last year, when we did DISNEYLAND kind of takes the cake. LOL

Nevertheless, after 52 hours of labor, here be my boy. :D