It's not Obsession

So, tomorrow/today is my surgery.

Not gonna lie. Kinda nervous. And don't say, "Nothing to be nervous about, you'll be fine" because I KNOW that. I know I'm going to be fine and I'm even at the point where it's like, "I probably don't even have cancer, it's probably just a funky ulcer that just won't go away and it doesn't HAVE to be indicative of anything else" but still.

Part of it is because my mom isn't here. This is the first thing that's been seriously wrong with any of us since mom died and... well, she's just not here and it's scary. I don't know. Just, mom's make everything better. *shrugs* Call me a fatass weenie if you have to, but that's the way it is.

Per my doctor's request, I had a will made up. THAT was a reality check and probably the reason I'm all kinds of weird about it now. "Blah blah, use my stuff to pay off my debts, blah blah, everything goes to Kyle and my executor in trust and Cher's executor and the boss of Kyle and if she can't then Lani is, The End."

Just your basic stuff. All notarized and made official. Just... scary. It's all real and I'm all grown up and a single mom and ALONE.

I'm alone.

To tell this story, I have to tell you another story:

When I was in the seventh grade, Jenny Ankney and this guy she liked named Jory sat next to me in History. And they were talking about Trojans. And they asked me if I knew what Trojans were. And I was like, "Uh, YEAH. We learned about them last year. With Helen and..." Yeah. NOT the Trojans they meant.

SOOOOOO OKAY...

This morning, Kyle says, "The answer to life, the universe and everything isn't 42. Apparently, it's 69. That's what the kids in my class say."

And Cher and I are like, "Uh... WHAT? The kids in your class say... what??" And he says, "That the answer to life, the universe and everything is 69."

... yeah. YEAH.