<0> (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} ramdonomo) wrote,@ 2009-08-17 01:24:00 |
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| Current mood: |  grateful |
| Entry tags: | body apocalypse, my friends rock that shit |
Life & Gratitude
In a comment someone said to me somewhere else: I hate cancer cause it infringes on a relationship of trust you're supposed to have with your body, it's revolting against yourself, it's as unnatural as one can get.
It was a really great comment all around, really. She told me about how she'd had her own battle with cancer and how she'd just stopped the BS all around her and she'd been supremely self-indulgent during her chemo by getting 12 hours of sleep for the first time in her life, reading all the time (entire works, Proust, so on and so forth), until she felt like she could kick that shit out. She said, It's all about mind's superiority over the physical.
And while I don't think you can beat it completely by thinking good thoughts or whatever? I know that having a strong will is a good part of it. I know that having people who love you, who TRULY, DEEPLY love and care about you around you? Makes all the difference in the world.
I know that without Lani and Rachael and my sister constantly coming to see me in the hospital - and then Lani staying the week, and Rach stepping outside of her comfort zones while visiting me (driving in the dark and all the ickys while there) and my sister taking 12 days off and her company LETTING her do that - I mean, that's love. It reminds me of when I had to spend the weekend in the hospital when I first had seizures and EJ and Ali called me ALL WEEKEND for hours on end, just so I wouldn't be lonely. True friends.
I got so many flowers in the hospital and Misha, through her church, sent not just me but my son, teddy bears. Bears that now sit there and watch over me.
I couldn't do this without all of you. And I love you and I appreciate you.
Taking the time to talk to me or play with me - and you, especially YOU, Tosh, recently, thank you - means more than I can say. It's kept me sane. I know it seems like little things to you guys, but it means the world to me.
So, thank you.