It's not Obsession

I love my (church) ward. I really do.

I mean, like a lot of people in my church, I've had a time when I've been inactive and a time when I've not followed the commandments like I should have. Even now, I'm not the BEST Mormon out there. I drink occasionally (New Years and June 14th), but that's about it on the Word of Wisdom. I'm a basically nice person and I know that I'd do anything for my friends that they'd need me to.

I like to think that this makes me a good Christian woman. That I do the things (more or less) that Christ wants me to do. I'm raising my son, and I think I'm raising him well. And he likes church, too, and I have THAT going in my favor. He looks forward to going, he gets upset when we DON'T go and he can't wait to serve a mission.

But back to my ward. They've really come together and been helpful when I needed them. They don't mind watching Jack at a moment's notice and one of the women there, her name's Patti, I really feel like she'd do anything for me.

She made this potato soup about two weeks ago when I was REALLY struggling to eat and it was INCREDIBLE. I'd never had potato soup before and it was seriously the best thing I'd ever eaten (at that moment in time). Of course, I hadn't eaten for three days, but that's the way it was for me then. And when I told her how much I appreciated it, she showed up to church the next Sunday with more for me. Cheese and bacon bits and the whole shebang. Now, I can't eat the bacon, but Kyle could and she knew that and went that extra mile.

So today, she was like, "I have this rug cleaner that I'd love to bring over so that we can get that taken care of before your surgery or even while you're in the hospital" (because the dog destroyed it) and when she brought it over tonight, she also brought MORE soup, cheese and bacon. :) That and twenty bucks for gas. It was a godsend, really.

Not to mention that she's going to take Kyle on Thursday and keep him distracted, cut his hair for him, and have over one of the missionaries that spent 18 months in Japan so she can talk to him. She's also arranged for Jack to spend the day with a couple of the women and I'm honestly just blown away by the generosity of the women in this ward. Relief Society or not, they're just so willing to be helpful.

Today's lesson in RS was on Unselfish Service and how we can help others and not expect anything in return and the ways we can do that and the list had like, twenty-five COMMUNITY related things on it - not just church related things. Volunteer opportunities and missionary opportunities and the things we can all do for each other, even if it's just calling someone up, someone you don't know well, to find out how they're doing, is such an amazing way to not only broaden your horizons, but reach out and possibly make someone's day.

It was just a really touching lesson for me because I've had to learn, over the course of a very short time, how to accept from other people the BIG kind of help and love. From Lani's large gesture to Rach's always being there, to Meredith driving down for two hours not even to talk so much but to just spend time.

All of you who IM me to ask how I'm doing and leave me comments or tweets to say how you're thinking of me -- I don't think you understand how much that all means to me. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't talk to you and I wouldn't RP with you and I wouldn't invite you into my life.

Needless to say, I am glad that you're there and I am so, so very grateful to know all of you.

♥

1) Pick one or more of [my characters], and go [here] to generate 10 random numbers between 1 and 100. Generate a different set of numbers for each character you pick.

2) I will answer the corresponding questions from [here] from the point of view of the character(s). Or from third person, if I'm lazy.

NOTE: Unlike past memes, I'll only be answering for the characters on that page.

NOTE THE SECOND: Just think... you'll totally be getting my cracked out, high on vicodin, valium & oxycodone answers and that is just fun for EVERYONE.

Am now living in an almost constantly drugged state. Don't even care. Just have to make it to July 2nd.

Look what Cher found for me. Well, she bought it, but still. She said, "He's a guardian, get it?" :)



Awesome, right? Hee. It's a BOBBLEHEAD.

So, there was a Truth or Dare thread and Uhura was not present. Angela was and Spock was:

ANGELA: Commander, I don't know how familiar you are with my academic records, but I was never a TA at the Academy. I understand that being a TA brings certain benefits for undergraduate students like access to special labs and additional course credits. So I'm hoping you can clear something up for me: is sex with the course instructor a typical privilege for TAs?

SPOCK: I took notice of her because of her academic achievements and the Xenolinguistics department’s need for an assistant in Advanced Phonology. We had discussions together and she gave me an intimate gesture and I returned it. Much like any other couple would. I enjoyed her company, and I think in our species copulation is a predictable outcome of mutual attraction regardless of rank.

============= ((The Ensuing OOC Convo)) =============

MO: HAHAHAHAHAHA. I just got done reading the truth/dare thread? And if Uhura ever found out that Angela asked Spock about TA sex? OOOOOOOOOH BOY.
AMANDA: haha Angela is sassy but not sassy enough to say something like that around Uhura
MO: *dies* Just around Spock!
AMANDA: Spock is less scary!
MO: Dying here. DYING.
AMANDA: Uhura would cut a bitch and Angela knows it
MO: Uhura is HBIC for a reason!
AMANDA: She actually like the only person Angela is actively cautious around when it comes to running her mouth. Well, also Pike maybe, haha. Everyone else gets sassed though.

If I were a month I would be: October
If I were a day of the week I would be: Tuesday
If I were a time of day I would be: 1 a.m.
If I were a planet I would be: Venus
If I were a sea animal, I would be: a sea otter
If I were a direction, I would be: Sideways
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: A porch swing
If I were a historical figure, I would be:
If I were a liquid, I would be: Water
If I were a stone, I would be: ruby
If I were a sin I would be: Sloth
If I were a tree, I would be: Willow
If I were a bird, I would be: Bluebird
If I were a tool, I would be: Screwdriver
If I were a flower, I would be: tulip
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: thunderstorm
If I were a mythical creature I would be: a mermaid
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: viola
If I were an animal, I would be: dog
If I were a color, I would be: maroon
If I were an emotion, I would be: passion
If I were a vegetable, I would be: potato
If I were a sound, I would be: laughter
If I were an element, I would be: water
If I were a car, I would be: a Mustang
If I were a song, I would be: "Let it be" by The Beatles
If I were a movie, I would be: a fantasy
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Peter Jackson
If I were a book, I would be: a novel
If I were a book, I would be written by: Sidney Sheldon or Stephen King
If I were a food, I would be: spaghetti
If I were a place, I would be: New Zealand
If I were a material, I would be: silk
If I were a taste, I would be: salty
If I were a scent, I would be: plumeria
If I were a word, I would be: enigma
If I were a body part, I would be: neck
If I were a subject in school, I would be: Literature
If I were an object, I would be: a journal
If I were a facial expression I would be: smile
If I were a shape I would be a: triangle

... July 2nd. That's when it all goes down.

And? I asked for a room that overlooks the Sound because I'll be damned if I'm missing the 4th of July fireworks downtown. Psh.

They're going to take half my tongue.

Then they're going to re-build it from skin & fatty tissues & blood vessels from my left forearm.

Then they're going to re-build my arm with a skin graft from my left thigh.

They're also going to cut my throat from ear to ear and take out all my lymph nodes and whatnot in my neck.

I'll probably have a tracheotomy for five or so days because of the swelling and I'll definitely have a feeding tube for that time.

And THEN, a month after that, I'll have both chemo AND radiation.

I'll be in the hospital for seven to ten days. When? I find out tomorrow or Friday.

My sister and I both got on the scale tonight.

Two pounds separated us. The size 20's she gave me don't fit me anymore... they're too big.

I officially can't eat anything actual anymore. Today I a jello cup and half a yogurt along with four bites of macaroni.

*sighs*

It's depressing. Really, truly, actually depressing.

So, last night was Rachael's birthday party and what a party! We all met at El Toro's at like, 8pm. Well, Jordan was already there and Cher, Nicole & I picked Rach up and Meredith was pulling in at the same time we were... yeah. :D

And Meredith brought me pretty pretty flowers: pink & yellow carnations which are my favorites.



( More photos & party wackiness here )

And of course, the new OT6.

First it was OT3: Me, Mer & Rach
Then it was OT4: Rach, Mer, Me & Lani
Then it was OT5 - Cher joined in... and this year? Nicole!




It was a good time. :D So much fun. TRADITION!

This. Group. Cracks. My. Shit. Up.

Had my surgery yesterday.

Diagnosis? Cancer.

( The long story )

I'm heavily medicated. And I have the best friends in the world.

To tell this story, I have to tell you another story:

When I was in the seventh grade, Jenny Ankney and this guy she liked named Jory sat next to me in History. And they were talking about Trojans. And they asked me if I knew what Trojans were. And I was like, "Uh, YEAH. We learned about them last year. With Helen and..." Yeah. NOT the Trojans they meant.

SOOOOOO OKAY...

This morning, Kyle says, "The answer to life, the universe and everything isn't 42. Apparently, it's 69. That's what the kids in my class say."

And Cher and I are like, "Uh... WHAT? The kids in your class say... what??" And he says, "That the answer to life, the universe and everything is 69."

... yeah. YEAH.

So, tomorrow/today is my surgery.

Not gonna lie. Kinda nervous. And don't say, "Nothing to be nervous about, you'll be fine" because I KNOW that. I know I'm going to be fine and I'm even at the point where it's like, "I probably don't even have cancer, it's probably just a funky ulcer that just won't go away and it doesn't HAVE to be indicative of anything else" but still.

Part of it is because my mom isn't here. This is the first thing that's been seriously wrong with any of us since mom died and... well, she's just not here and it's scary. I don't know. Just, mom's make everything better. *shrugs* Call me a fatass weenie if you have to, but that's the way it is.

Per my doctor's request, I had a will made up. THAT was a reality check and probably the reason I'm all kinds of weird about it now. "Blah blah, use my stuff to pay off my debts, blah blah, everything goes to Kyle and my executor in trust and Cher's executor and the boss of Kyle and if she can't then Lani is, The End."

Just your basic stuff. All notarized and made official. Just... scary. It's all real and I'm all grown up and a single mom and ALONE.

I'm alone.

OOC: This just cracked my shit up...

=============

“Cadet Uhura.”

“Yes, Professor Spock?”

“I would like to request your presence at an event I fully intend to host in the immediate, foreseeable future. A prompt R.S.V.P. would be most appreciated.”

“Oh?”

“Indeed. It is to be a small celebratory gathering.”

“Oh, that sounds fantastic. Where are you planning on holding it?”

“Ah, that is—ahem—I intend to host this event within the confines of my regulation issued uniform slacks.”

“...wa...wait.”

“Yes?”

“...did you just...”

“Did I just...?”

“Invite me—uh—Yes.”

“Yes?”

“I would love to come to a party in your pants, Spock.”

“That is most...agreeable.”

=============


Alternate concepts included:

"I am concerned that you are not showing signs of fatigue, Cadet Uhura, as you have been vigorously sprinting through the confines of my subconscious since dawn."

And:

"Cadet Uhura, might I inquire as to whether or not you suffered physical discomfort upon falling to Earth? Also, it would be prudent to alert your superiors that one of their ranks has recently gone missing."



[[[NOT WRITTEN BY ME, but I was totally amused!]]]

Also, I didn't realize it until this last time watching through Star Trek, but guys!

JJ ABRAMS TOTALLY USED IT TO APOLOGIZE TO ME!

Proof?



There. There it is.

Aww, I'm not sure he's TOTALLY forgiven, but the door has been opened.

I gasped and was all warm in the cockles of my bitter, shattered heart. Tsk. Oh, JJ. Why did you have to ruin us so thoroughly? It's so hard to get it back, isn't it? But this... this is a start. *sniffles*


{THAT SAID}

I totally redid my journal: ramdonomo

( Mostly complaining, somewhat graphic description of pain & causes )

So, on Wednesday, I'm having surgery. A biopsy. The ENT I saw on June 1st wanted to do surgery on June 2nd but was afraid he couldn't get approval from the insurance in time. So, on Wednesday, I know they're going to biopsy my tongue and check down my throat to see what lesions and lumps are in the way there. About the lump in my neck, I don't know if they're going to go through my throat or through the outside of my neck, but I think they're going to check that out, too.

Having someone say, "I'm concerned you have tongue cancer" is pretty frightening. But, you know, after everything else and with my sister and the friends I have and the people I know?

I'm going to be okay. I will.

Pray for me.

CAPTAIN KIRK: I like your company. I'm not that same guy you met in Iowa three years ago, Uhura.
LT. UHURA: I know. Now you're that guy in command of the best starship in the fleet. They really did just compensate for you, didn't they?
CAPTAIN KIRK: Trust me, Lieutenant, I don't need compensation for anything. The taller the man, the bigger the stick he carries, as they say.
LT. UHURA: That explains Commander Spock. Thank you.

Clearly, the cat is outta the bag. It's a TREK RP. And yeah... can you guess who sits outside their house for the internet? *DIES* I love this game and the people in it.



FUCK YEAH.

1) Kirk & Angela did body shots in the officer's lounge.
2) Angela got Spock DRUNK.
3) Spock then got Uhura tanked and made out with her against the wall & then on a couch. (DID YOU READ WHAT THEY HAD US DOING...)
4) Angela then sent Spock the awkward apology you saw before. *HEE*